Imagine a world. A world where expectations are always met, and no man lets another down. No word is broken, no promise left unfulfilled, no trust betrayed. Sounds pretty darn close to perfect, doesn’t it? Think of all the implications: a game would never be delayed, a movie would never be canceled, and Henry Cavil would never have been bullied off his Superman role.
But sorrow drenches my fingertips as I write this article, (!?) for we do not live in such a world. Try as we might, the idea of an impeccable humanity alludes us like the very fountain of youth, a prey ever kept out of our reach like some cosmic punishment. It behooves me to be the bearer of bad news.
But all is not lost! For out of the fog arises a true, new savior in my form: a man who will reckon the world and instill honorbound promises in the hearts of man once again. Vowbreakers of the world will cower and flee before my majesty, and the rest shall bow before my visage and witness their salvation–
Huh? Wait, how long have you been standing there?
Heh, uh, don’t pay any attention to me. No, I was just, ah, recording a trial speech for my mystic dragon cult–ah, I mean club. Fantasy club. It’s a writing club. I didn’t really mean any of that, of course. I really just meant that…well, jeez, this is gonna be a short one.
Okay, I’m back, see? How much longer do I have to stall? I’m back, and more blog posts are incoming. Expect a YouTube video this weekend as well. Jeez, the nerve of these people: they expect me to put out quality, reliable content every week, and barring that, every day. Such unreasonable expectations. As video game company DICE once said when players were pissed off that Battlefield 2042 didn’t have a scoreboard of any kind, “Your expectations are brutal”.
Huh? No, I’m not salty. I was never a Battlefield fan in the first place. I was much more of a JRPG kinda guy at the–look, now I’m getting sidetracked! Why did you have to bring up Battlefield 2042? Alrighty, imma cut this short and sweet. I’ll take up no more time with my useless ramblings meant to explain my return from underworld depths you cannot imagine. And no, I’m not completely sane.
Happy New Year and get off my lawn.
Be sure to check out my latest novel, Book 1 in the Praetors of Lost Magic Series, and our Publications page. Plus, I mean, it wouldn’t hurt to check out the Resources tab. It’s full of super helpful material and I promise it will help you out. Until then, writers!